I wanted to write out my thoughts on my life and Love Live! and how they’ve complimented each other. I wanna write about my story with the series and how my life has been with and without it. (I also want to write about how much it means to me, but that will come in the future in the form of many other posts dealing with each story, group, or character individually! :3)
This is pretty long, so if anything, please read the summary section at the bottom <3
Spoiler warnings:
Screenshot of Maki from School Idol Movie
Talking about references made in season 1 of Love Live! Sunshine!!
Season 2 Episode 6 of Love Live! Superstar!!
Video/GIF from episode 3 of Yohane the Parhelion: Sunshine in the Mirror
Discovery
The exact time I discovered it is very difficult to figure out… And I haven’t, HOWEVER, I know it was sometime early 2015. I was recommended it by a friend on Miiverse. The Miiverse account I used at the time was never archived, but some clues could be put together. Back then, I had never watched any anime, and even stayed away, due to the stigma around watching anime at all. Regardless, as soon as she suggested it, I watched it. She believes she discovered it in February 2015, and I believe I was familiar with the series by May, so I must’ve watched it any time between those months! Unless she misremembers her dates, tho I believe her.
I very quicky became obsessed, and the series gave me happiness. :3 If I go back as far as possible in my Google history, one of my first searches in 2015 is Rin Hoshizora, which I think is lovely. :p I would’ve gotten my first smart phone at this time! Tho I got it after I started watching Love Live!, so the beginning was never recorded unfortunately.
I do remember talk, and even some theories surrounding the upcoming School Idol Movie, which I always find funny to look back on. Most memorably, which of the girls is Maki going to kiss in the movie? Nico? Nozomi? Is there a boy?
(She was not kissing any love interest… What a shame, I KNOW!! 🤭)
Aqours
Sometime before the School Idol Movie, the next Love Live! series was teased. An unnamed orange haired girl standing on a beach. I found it interesting, but I never looked too much into it.
Between Love Live! School Idol Project, and Love Live! Sunshine!!, I watched plenty other anime. I wonder if it was to chase the feeling I felt with Love Live!, tho I guess I never found anything I liked the same way. When Love Live! Sunshine!! started airing, I kept up with it up until the first season ended. I enjoyed it, but I don’t think I was ready to move on from µ’s, so emotionally I was detached. I continued watching more anime, but in the end, I stopped watching anime as a whole, and never started season 2 of Sunshine!!.
Drought
Before season 1 of Sunshine!! even happened, I got into a pretty negative situation, and as a result, I lost interest in most things in life in general. I stopped expressing myself and doing things I enjoyed, maybe in fear of being judged. I became numb to most things, and as a self defense mechanism, I made myself appear upset at all times so no one would interact with me. I only wanted to be alone. Over time, this got toned down, and what was left was a person who didn’t hate, but also didn’t love anybody. I stayed clear of trouble and kept to myself, but didn’t know who I was anymore, and was unable to express anything. I had forgotten how to even feel emotions by this point. I stopped taking care of myself, and my sleep schedule became horrible, as I’d wake up at 8 P.M., and go to sleep at 10 A.M.. Eventually I found friends, and I tried my best to pretend like I had feelings, but it was very difficult. Even still, I would at least find time to help out when someone needed it. I cared for them, and it felt good to care. Throughout this time, Love Live! was absent, yet whenever I’d make accounts in places, every time without fail, I would use Hanayo as a profile picture. Clearly, something was left in me that I was suppressing…
Rediscovery
In January of 2023, so a little over 6 years since season 1 of Sunshine!! ended, I rewatched School Idol Project with some friends. I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back at messages and such, it was clear there was some passion there. A flame is being reignited. Around the same time, either a few days before or after, I’d remind myself of a NozoEli MMV I had seen years prior, and these things together shifted the direction I was headed in life drastically. Even before this, I had started listening to songs using Hatsune Miku, which made me comfortable enough to add the song used in the NozoEli edit, since it was a Japanese song. Previously, I wouldn’t have added it, in fear of being judged for seeming “like a weeb.” I consider that song, “もっと…” by “西野カナ” (“Motto…” by “Kana Nishino”) to be what opened the doors to me embracing myself and Love Live! again.
On February 19th, I would add my first Love Live! song to my music playlist. This was it, this was the moment, I felt something again. The following day, I would add 6 more. And the next day some more. And then some more… Until I ended up with 59 songs by µ’s in a row added purely out of passion of the idea of looking back at something I used to enjoy. 59 seems like a bit more than a slight revisit to the past, no? I even added the outro song used in Love Live! Sunshine!! as the 60th because I remembered loving that song. Those 60 songs were everything I’d listen to for a whole month. I had finally adopted the mindset of “cringe but free” and it allowed me to feel better and do things that interested me.
I begin rewatching the show on my own and at my own pace. At the same time, I had been invited to learn Japanese with a friend whose mother is Japanese, and I ended up finding it pretty fun, but I needed motivation. So I made a deal with myself. Every day I spent some time practicing anything Japanese, I would watch one Love Live! episode that night. And so I do! And I keep this up even to this day, just with other anime, but I’m getting ahead of myself!
Happiness!!
I finish School Idol Project and I feel happy. I haven’t felt happy in years. I feel so relieved. I could never explain what this relief felt like, it was unlike anything I’d ever felt. Turns out, this series is a hyperfixation. Turns out, when I’m away from my hyperfixation, I get really depressed. Turns out, this whole time, all I needed was Love Live!, and I’ve learnt my lesson this time. I figured it out. Love Live! is here to stay. My life will always have Love Live! in it. I’m so happy. This feeling is unreal. Especially so after spending years without feeling anything at all. I spend a lot of time here, and slowly build up the courage to try more things past µ’s. Aqours is next. Sunshine!! is next. I need time to mentally be ready for that. At this point, my main worry isn’t that I won’t like it, it’s that I’ll like it more than the first show! Before I get there tho, something pretty big happened besides feeling happiness for the first time again.
July 7th 2023 at 7 or 8 A.M., yes I still had a pretty bad sleep schedule at this point, I cried for the first time again. After trying to regain my ability to feel things and to cry for so long, it finally happened. A happy cry. And the fact that I was crying, made me cry more. I was very happy. I’ve wanted the ability to cry for so so long. What was it that made me cry? Love Live! of course. Hanayo Koizumi’s solo song “Nawatobi” (なわとび) to be precise. Most beautiful song I know. I tweeted about this at the time, but never mentioned what it was that made me cry. Now you know what it was! Surprise! (No one’s surprised.)
Sunshine
Sunshine!! time!! Finally, in SEPTEMBER, I start watching Love Live! Sunshine!!! Immediately, I can tell I’ll love it. µ’s’ story partly taught me how to move on and be happy, and it made watching Sunshine!! that much more enjoyable and fun. And this time I could fully understand what the story was telling me. It resonated with me. I loved this show. I also at this point finally truly understand how the first and the second show tell one single story, and it means the world to me. It fully taught me the ability to move on, to move forward, and be happy. Now it’s uncharted territory. What’s next?
WAIT!!! Sunshine just finished, and I discover ビタミンSUMMER！ (Vitamin SUMMER!) by Liella!! …Who’s that? Isn’t this the girls from the newest show? Maybe it’s just a song not related to the anime… It doesn’t seem like it’d fit an anime.
Regardless, this is the one and only song I’ve heard from them, and it’s the most fun song I’ve heard from the series BY FAR… WHAT!!!
Nijigasaki
Nijigasaki is next! Surely they can’t top the previous two which is now by far my favorite things in the whole wide world, right? Surely… Right? Oh. Oh no this is um… This is really good I actually really uh… I really like this show this is… Oh my… Oh my Miku… Nijigasaki might be my favorite thing ever created…
Okay to be more specific!! :p To me, each show has its own thing I like the most, but the original School Idol Project will forever be my home. That said, Nijigasaki feels so nice from start to finish, and the first movie of it is being released this month as of this writing, so I’m so excited to see more!! <3 Nijigasaki is something really special, nothing has made me feel as good as Nijigasaki has. I feel happy, encouraged, represented, comforted, comfortable, hopeful, and I’m having SO much fun!
Superstar
Superstar!! is next, surely they can’t top it again! Okay enough of that… 🤭 Superstar!! feels like peak. It might be THE show. Season 3 has just finished, and I can’t wait for what’s to come!! However, for the sake of the timeline in this post, I watch and finish season 1 and 2. At this point, I’m all caught up and ready for what’s to come! And while I don’t have too much to say about the series in this timeline post anymore, as it’s routine in my life at this point, Liella! is probably the group I’ve connected with the most, and Superstar!! is fantastic. Beautiful show. <3 And yes I freaked out so much when this scene showed up.
I recognized the outfit first frame from the Liella! song I discovered months prior, and I had no idea at all that it was coming up. Practically jump scared me, it made me so happy! :3
Yohane
Yohane the Parhelion is intriguing, as it’s just a different thing, but with characters we already know (and love of course.) And it had me more hooked than anything that came before it and kinda overshadowed Superstar!! for me at the time, since I had moved straight to Yohane the Parhelion after finishing the 2nd season. I have since rediscovered my love for Superstar!! of course! Yohane the Parhelion made me a lot more connected to Aqours which I really appreciate, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of this show either, as it’s beautiful and perfect in its own way.
Words can’t express how much I love this show, or Love Live! for that matter, but I sure will keep yapping until I figure out how!!
Nijiyon
Forget about Nijiyon? Couldn’t be me… I watched one episode here and there, but even still haven’t finished it. That’s not to say I don’t like it, but I think I might be scared to finish it. Part of me feels like I’ll be lost once there’s nothing left. I feel a little scared about this, but I know it’ll be fine. Honoka has taught me how things end, and how that’s fine. I live by that. I’m fine with that. Part of me is even excited for that! Even still, I struggle to remember to watch it before I fall asleep. Every time I do remember tho, I have the best sleep of my life <3
Caught up
I’m all caught up now! I watch season 3 of Superstar!! as it comes out and I’m happy as ever! I’m finally mentally where I should’ve been many many years ago. I’m happy. Love Live! has taught me how to. This is living. I’m glad~
So what’s happened? Final thoughts. (Summary)
I found Love Live! when I was in my early teens. It made me happy. I stayed away from it for a while afterwards due to fear of being judged and being “cringe.” I rediscover it years later and feel happy again. I learn to hold onto what makes me happy, and I feel free. I’ve been behind on a lot, but now I’m finally caught up. Love Live! has never left me, but I wish I never pretended like it did. Love Live! has taught me happiness. It has taught me how to move on. It has taught me how to accept, appreciate, and even seek change. Love Live! has taught me how to be myself. A real person. So!! This should all explain how I’m such an early fan, but know very little. I’ve been absent for a while! Please continue to tell me about the things that I’ve missed! It’s so fun to learn! <3 And please, if something makes you happy, and you’re not hurting anybody, embrace it. Be happy. Be passionate. Be “cringe.” You’ll learn how “cringe” doesn’t exist. It’s just misunderstood passion. Passionate people are wonderful. Be wonderful!
So that’s where I’m at! That’s been my life! This post has been about me, but I’ll definitely talk more in depth about the individual shows and characters at a later date. I can’t wait to share my excitement about these things I care so much about!
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